• katie

Bad relationship with social media... or bad relationship with yourself?

There is nothing that makes my skin cringe more than when I hear someone talk about how 'terrible' social media is.

Yes, social media content can be terrible (ranging from politics to half naked women to ridiculously stupid videos of men to hateful comments on popular pages). But there's this really awesome concept that we get to CHOOSE what we view, read, scroll by, and double tap throughout the day. We literally get to design the material we see every single day. It is up to US whether we make social media a positive experience, or a negative one.

So... maybe you need to take a break from social media, and... maybe you don't.

Maybe it's not that you have a bad relationship with social media... but rather, you have a bad relationship with yourself.

Because comparing ourselves to other people on the internet isn't a problem with the person we're comparing ourselves too. It's not their fault that we find them attractive or that they live a wealthy lifestyle. It's a problem within ourselves. We feel inadequate. We feel unattractive. We feel unwanted. We feel unapproved of. We feel less than. And these deeper issues within ourselves doesn't just go away by clicking the 'unfollow' button because not only are we usually able to still go and click and creep on these pages regardless of the unfollowing, we are the ones that have to wake up & live in our own being every single day.

It requires more than just hopping off social media.

You have to actually do more work that is beyond social media.

It's the very reason why some individuals do NOT struggle with social media. They don't find themselves annoyed or jealous, they don't find themselves saying 'I wish I looked like ___' or 'I wish I was more like ___'. People like this actually exist with no emotional/mental issues scrolling all day long.

If we are consistently struggling with saying things like that ^^, it's usually because we aren't dealing with our personal struggles at their root.

In yoga, this is called 'Avidya'. In Sanskrit, 'Vidya' means wisdom or knowledge (the deep wisdom and knowledge earned through deep practice and experience). 'Avidya' (due to the prefix) is the absence/lack of it, and shows up as ignorance to why we are the way that we are. So when I say something like, 'I wish I looked like ___', what usually is under that-- is a pattern in my life of feeling like men aren't paying attention to me the same way they are paying attention to someone like ___. It is usually a sign that I am not connected with my own body, or that I do not appreciate and show love to my own body. And usually stems from a lack of connection to my own sexuality, while also not embracing & highlighting the other things about me that live on the inside.

So yeah, maybe you don't like yourself.

Maybe you feel unattractive.

Maybe you feel unwanted.

But... why?

Where do those feelings even come from?

When was the first time you felt those feelings?

What do you admire about the person that you think you desire to look like?

Do you know what they are currently struggling with?

What do you actually want? Do you really want fake tits/boobs like hers or do you really just want sex with someone who makes you feel just as desired and wanted with the body that you have? Have you thought about how many creeps there are that would be sliding into your DMs? Have you considered how that would make you feel, how you would deal with that, what that would make you feel about yourself then?

Picture Avidya being a huge bag full of trash and you are just carrying it over your shoulder. Now imagine that everyone that meets you or sees your social media can see that bag full of trash. In that bag of trash is every experience you've had... every word you've read... every thought... every shitty piece of trash that we each carry from our lifetime. Imagine that someone sees that when they see you.

But they don't.

Everyone has their own shit.

And the more you consider that, the more often you approach people knowing that they all have their own samskaras and deeply rooted baggage, the less attached to 'being someone else' or 'looking like someone else' you will be.

So while you take social media detoxes (that feel soooo damn good), make sure you are also doing the work. Pull out your journal and actually draw awareness to what currently feels gross on your timeline and within yourself, make note of who is 'making you' feel that way, and get to it. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow. Make no excuse for why you need to continue seeing someone or something that is triggering some of that garbage you are still carrying. And maybe through your personal work, you can follow them again/see more of that content. And maybe through your personal work, you'll find that you can't or don't want to.

But always ask: is it really that I hate social media, or am I stuck hating myself?

During my social detoxes what I find over & over again is that I unfollow women with 6 packs and can lift really heavy, people that are out drinking every weekend, people that are posting material possessions consistently, and people that post their consistent vacationing.

This isn't because I don't like the people that are posting it. Usually I've never had a negative experience with them ever. But it's baggage from my past of never living in abundance/wealth, struggling with disordered eating and injuries, & having FOMO. All of which come from the idea that I am not doing/being enough, or feeling that I do not deserve to have these things. In order for me to thrive as an entrepreneur and in order for me to continue to work through that Avidya, I know that clearing these daily reminders off of my timeline will help me tremendously. It's removing critical distraction. Those things were taking me away from realizing how truly awesome my life is the way that it is, and that there is nothing wrong with the sacrifices I am making to be where I want to be.

We all have our shit.

Before blaming social media, take a look at what is actually bothering you. What is actually missing? Where do you actually see a gap in your life/in yourself? What do you actually want to feel like within yourself? And how can you make the next step to achieve that?


This is life without the filter,