I will not sugarcoat entrepreneur life.
For starters, even though I'm pretty decent at writing and spelling-- I only learned how to finally spell 'entrepreneur' because of how often I've written & typed it the past 8 months (or 9? I can't count and math isn't my thing).
Anyone who claims they are an entrepreneur and talks as if it's this glamorous life that everyone can do, they are either lying or they aren't actually an entrepreneur. I'm not really sure why today's world glorifies entrepreneurship. After all, if there is anything we can observe it's the recent deaths of Anthony Burdain and Kate Spade. Two extremely successful and well known individuals, and they aren't the only ones that took their lives. I can't assume why or what the reasoning was, but what I will say is that I'm saddened every single time I see MLM's or people that didn't have to sacrifice much, calling themselves an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur, by definition is: "a person who organizes and operates a business or businesses, taking on greater than normal financial risks in order to do so."
This fucking 'movement' we'll call it of people making entrepreneurship and starting your own business seem like this sunshine and rainbows of a life needs to end. We are currently in this lifetime where people see so much on the outside and very little on the inside. Most of us are shocked when we see social media pages with beautiful images, expensive clothes and cars, looking put together and happy with their success-- that it was hard for them to start their business. Why is it shocking? Because it's uncommon to talk about it. As someone starting your own business, you don't want to fucking seem like you are a disaster. You don't want to seem like you feel bad for yourself or that it's hard or that it isn't amazing. The truth is that it is everything.
It's so... so lonely. Even when you have a support system, there is no one that gives more fucks than you do about your business. No one.
It's so... so draining. Even when you go to fucking yoga and meditate and sleep more. You are exhausted from the energy put forward of trying to succeed.
It's so... so fucking rewarding. I'm saying the fuck word a lot right now because I truly don't know how else to emphasize what needs to be emphasized.
There have been weeks that go by where I am like wow, I hope I get paid from the yoga studio I teach at ASAP because otherwise I'm not really sure how I'll pay for gas or food.
Times where a fee comes out where I get over-drafted $100+ and I'm not sure when the next time is that I will make more money.
But you know what? If I've learned anything from studying and practicing yoga, and learning from the hardest working entrepreneurs is that if you cannot sit in the uncomfortable, the unknown, you will struggle more than you need to.
I dial in and focus on the controllables vs the uncontrollables.
In this moment if I don't have as much money as I need/want, what CAN I do? I can work fucking harder. I can reroute. I can put in more hours. I can pick up a side job until I don't need it. I'm never fucking stuck. This isn't longterm. And I trust that.
Trust is huge.
I trust in my efforts and my hustle and my ability to recognize where I am needed, what needs my focus/attention, where I need to do more/less, and moments when I need to rest. I watch people freak out the second that something goes wrong and I want to lock them into a room where they are isolated with incense, a yoga mat, a cup of hot tea, and a journal. I want to force them to recognize that our ability to be still and sit in the uncomfortable is crucial for growth.
Tangent over. I think.
Back to the rewarding part.
I was talking to Danielle, my good-friend-soul-sister that owns Yoga Underground (and soon to be podcast partner!!) about how well I've been doing with sitting and being in the moments of upset/uncomfortable/worry with finances and she said something I really needed to hear... 'and what did that feel like when your bank account had that much money in it?' (referring to a time this year where my account had a lot of money in comparison to usual), "how did it feel to see that number? what was your energy like? how did your body feel?"
I fucking needed that. Visualizing what the good moments feel like it so important and crucial to the rest of our success. We often re-feel and re-visualize over and over again the bad moments because they have a darker, gunkier energy to them. They're traumatic. It's easy to know what that felt like and feel the need to think about it several times.
But this... ahhh this feels so good to think about. I remember how nice it was to go grocery shopping and not check my account statement before going. I remember how blissed I felt to be able to get a (much needed) pedicure. I remember how happy I felt when I could go fill up mine & max's cars with gas. I remember how much my shoulders relaxed away from my ears and all I could think is... it's possible. I'm doing it. It's happening. I'm doing the fucking work and everything I believe in so deeply that I could cry is coming to fruition.
When you don't "do" something with the intention of making money but you genuinely just are passionate about wanting to help people, it is scary. It's scary because you know you aren't going to make decisions around how to make more money. You're going to make decisions around how to see your vision of changing as many lives as possible come to life. And that doesn't happen by lowering your price just to take on 100 people and give them half ass effort because you can't manage it. It happens by pricing yourself at what you are worth, what you can live off of that provides you the comfort and energy to fully give yourself to the people you want to impact and be so fully involved in their life that you KNOW you are guiding them out of a place full of love and kindness.
This road isn't pretty. But god... this is everything I could ask for and more. I love this process. I love seeing the vision I had come to life. I love the people that support me and I love even more the people that don't. All of this... every piece... every bit of every struggle is continuously catapulting me into my next move.
Entrepreneurship isn't possible for everyone and with good reason. You must be able to love the struggle, you must be able to genuinely appreciate each up & down, you must be able to hug the unknown tightly yet with open arms at the same time.
Don't let this social media world fool you.
This is life without the filter,